Saturday, February 25, 2006

I'm a pack rat.

I am a pack rat. There I said it. I'm not ready to admit that to my husband. He points it out to me and I justify everything I have shoved, stacked, piled and 'filed'. First, let me make it clear that I do not have magazines or newspapers neatly stacked in ANY room of my house! I am not THAT kind of pack rat! I like to shove them into drawers...ha, not really. I keep SOME b-day cards, letters, pictures, things that mean something and things I write. I like to write, so sometimes I jot down thoughts where ever the mood hits. That sometimes means writing on a napkin or a receipt... so they get shoved into a drawer until I dig through, read them again, and decide if they are worth 'saving'. For what I don't know. Today I found one that I though was worth keeping. I don't remember the circumstances that I wrote it, but it did provoke some feelings I'm glad are gone. I thought I'd post it. I do not conceder myself a writer so take that into consideration!

I love you, but not the way you think. I love the way you fill the hole inside of me, the way I'd feel without you. I clench my teeth and smile the perfect smile for you. I sneer behind tinted frames, for keeping it deep. I express myself with hiding to make you grin. The love I feel you can't understand.

In a hole I dig deep. I want to hide and never see the truth behind. The masks of color I paint are fragile and weak. My mind is a dark place to be. It slithers out of the corner of my eye enough to frighten, then disappears. Lost are the shadows that could close the darkness. Stepping down I can feel you there, all around, waving slowly at my ankles. Sometimes touching my soul with your rancid fingertips. I exhale the color of smog, the taste of decay. The beautiful longing for nothing. Take me, I give up; do with me what you will. Make it sorrowful. Make it quick. What do I care, I'm not here for long. I just have to inhale, that’s it.

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Two worlds

Some days go along so well. Everything goes smoothly, things fall into place at just the right moment. Going through the day, there’s no rushing or waiting, just smooth sailing. Tasks go off without a hitch, the sun is shining, and you think, all is right with the world. For some reason, when I have a day like this I forget that somewhere somebody’s life is just the opposite.

Yesterday, that somebody was my neighbor. My husband and I have gotten fairly close to them since moving in three years ago. Willie and Margaret were married less then a month ago and we were the only non-family members invited. It was an honor. The ceremony was small and held in their living room. The minister was from Georgia and had to be the most southern man I have ever met! The story of how this wedding came to be is a touching one. I don’t know all the details, but what I do know is that this wedding was a long time coming. As a mixed race teenage couple, they were torn apart by ignorant, callous people. Many years later they met again for a chance at what should have been. They both had loved, married, and lost others, but never forgot each other. One day, Margaret heard the soulful cry of a blues guitar on the radio knew it was her long lost love, Willie. She took a chance, called the station, and sure enough it was him. The rest is history.

Last night, as I was having my near perfect day, I noticed an ambulance out front. The paramedics were across the street at Willie and Margaret’s house. My heart sank. I wanted to run over, but didn’t want to get in the way. I waited at my door for what seemed like forever! Then two paramedics emerged helping Willie walk to his car!! Margaret was close behind with her keys. I ran over, confused and asked if I help. She explained that Will had a stroke and the ambulance wouldn’t take him to Christian NE where his doctor was. She had to drive him. I asked if I could drive her and she was more worried about how I would get back home from the hospital! That concern waved away she asked if I could just ride with them, make some calls and park the car after we arrived to the EMG. So I did. Willie looked so frail. I asked him how he was holding up, he said his vision was blurry and he felt weak. His smile gone, Willie was a shadow of himself. He tried to talk, but began to mumble. I watched him as he passed out, straining the seatbelt that held him. I thought holy shit what do I do?? I know CPR…sorta, it’s been awhile! Slumped over in his seat Willie rocked and swayed all the way there, all I could do was place one hand on his shoulder and one on hers; man was that a long ride. Once at the hospital he was awake again but unable to walk. I took the car and left them at the EMG room entrance. Forty five minutes later I was on my way home, in a cab, smelling the most awful cologne ever. Once home, I walked around aimlessly, discombobulated. I felt completely out of sorts. Then all of a sudden, out of the blue I started to cry. How fragile life is! How unfair! How one person’s perfect day could be another’s absolute horror. How neither will know the other extreme exist unless they collide. To be completely oblivious… I don’t have the words to explain how lost I felt. I went to bed contemplating life and wondering how Willie was.

Today, Margaret called, Willie is home. The doctors prescribed a baby aspirin a day…crazy. She told me that last month he was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is going through chemo. As happy as I am that he is home and okay I can’t help but prepare for more of this to come. Willie’s a strong cat though, I know I’ll see his smiling face belt out more blues before he’s done with this world!!

Here is Willie’s web site! Check it out, his music is fabulous.

Many of the songs are about his re-discovered true love. http://www.blueladyenterprises.com/

Sunday, February 12, 2006

The Luncheon

I just went to a luncheon with the girls. Sounds very old lady-like doesn't it? "Yes darhling, we're to take our tea in the parhlor after the luncheon."
Well, it was a lot of fun. These women are my (fairly new found) family, complete with sisters and mother hen. I'm really enjoying getting to know them. I sometimes find it almost painful to 'get to know' someone. I feel like people judge me, so I literally 'act' like someone I think they will like until I'm comfortable or they show a side of their personality I can't deal with, then I don't care so much. That is except in rare cases where I feel comfortable right off the bat. For the first time I felt that way around ALL of these women. It was such a relief. I really felt 'part of'. I have to admit I'm a little intimidated by them. Not because I think they're better then me, but because I admire them.
All of these women have such beautiful personalities, I wonder where I fit. They are very rounded but have at least one trait that stands above and proudly announces itself to the world. I wouldn't say it defines them but it does give you a peek into the inner workings! These women that I admire are... The strong, poised, and insightful mother hen, the passionate live-wire, the gentle expressive protector, the whimsical brat (meant in the fun brat way) and the quiet modern day advocate. They say you are defined by who you associate with, well if that's true I'm a strong, passionate, whimsically wonderful chic who is so fucking cool I can't stand myself.

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Pop

I've been missing my Dad more than usual lately. I thought I'd post a pic.
His laugh is infectious, his eyes sparkle like no other, and his hugs are one of my favorite places to be, EVER! He always has something inspiring, encouraging, or uplifting to say to me and somehow those words make everything 'right' in the world. When he says "I love you, Kee" I feel it down to my core, absolutely, unconditionaly, without a doubt, he adores me....his sweet pea...The feeling is mutual, Daa.

Two peas in a pod!!! Posted by Picasa

DELL HELL

I wrote this letter for a customer service survey Dell sent me to fill out. When I went to submit it the site said "No longer taking comments." So I thought I'd post it for anyone who happens to stumble across this blog...

It's pretty long, so settle in for a bit...

To whom it may concern,

I am very excited about this opportunity to give you a customer satisfaction survey, as it seemed nobody cared at the time of the issue. I hope you’re next, less than lucky customer, will not have to go through what I did. It began on the nineteenth of January. My husband surprised me with a beautiful laptop computer he ordered from Dell. He told me it took a lot of research and time to put together the perfect computer for me. I couldn’t believe it!

So, we settled down to set it up. We went through all the normal set up modes except the internet; he hadn’t gotten the remote access modem yet, so that would have to wait. The computer was pretty slow right off the bat, but we thought maybe laptops were just slower then full size computers. He said, from his research, that he had purchased a pretty good processor and was under the impression that it would move faster than it was. We decided to talk to a friend the next day about it. We also noticed the cursor kept flickering, like the computer was running a program, or ‘thinking’ yet there wasn’t a reason for it. It was late, so we left it for the next day.

I was at work when he called to tell me the computer was completely locked up. He tried everything short of turning it off via the power button. He closed it up and left it for me to look at when I got off work. It was still frozen when I came home, the screen said, “Shutting down windows”.

My husband spoke to a friend of his, who’s familiar with computers. He said this pc should not be slow at all, and I should contact Dell.

I’ve had a similar problem in the past, with a modem that acted up shortly after I purchased it. I called the necessary help center many times, and they always walked me through steps to eradicate the problem. It continued to have issues until I purchased a new one. I decided not to chance that with such an expensive item as this. In less then 24 hours I needed to call a support line, I thought it best to exchange it.

On The twentieth of January, (2006) at approximately two p.m. I called 1-800-624-9897 to exchange my computer. I chose the option for returns. The recording said I would probably be on hold for more then ten minutes. So, I put my earpiece in and started on some homework.

After an hour on hold, I decided to use my other phone to call and see if another avenue would get me a person to speak with. I tried tech support and got a person fairly quickly. I think his name was Steve, although I could not understand much through his thick accent. After much confusion about purchaser’s name, he decided to call me Zeke, my husband who actually purchased the pc. I was fine with it. It made it easier with the language barrier. I tried to explain my problem and that I wanted to return it for a new one. I told him I’ve been on hold for quiet a while with returns and wondered it he could expedite the process. He explained that tech support would help me fix the problem. I told him I would rather just exchange it. He put me on hold for returns. I hung up that line and continued to hold the original line.

After another hour, the phone clicked, I got excited until it went dead. I was disconnected. I thought, “Well things happen.” Maybe, I should go through tech support and let them try before I exchange it. My experience continued to worsen from there. I was tossed around from this ‘type’ of tech support to that one. I spoke to a Scott, and a Sheldon, who I could barley understand. It is very frustrating talking computers for someone who is unfamiliar with them and then to top that off with someone who can not speak fluent English just adds to the stress. I had just spent almost two thousand dollars with this company and I am now spending the better part of a Saturday night on the phone getting nowhere with them. I received, absolutely no respect or consideration from the people who were working customer service. They are trained; it seems, to go through no uncertain steps with every customer who calls, no matter the circumstances. No personalized service what so ever. I was just a number on their call list. Every person I spoke to took my name, my husbands actually, my phone number, incase we got disconnected and my e-mail address. I was disconnected several times and NEVER received called back. An agent would attempt to transfer me and loose me, I’d wait a few minutes for a call back to no avail.

Finally, an agent told me the support I needed came from Dell on Call, a service that would cost. Lucky for me I had purchased a package for this type of service call. I was floored! Less then 24 hours and I would be expected to PAY for help had I not included it in my initial purchase.

The agent said he would transfer me, which from here on out will actually mean to be hung up on, lost, or disconnected. I called the number directly after again not receiving a call back…as discussed would be the case. I am very unhappy at this point and every agent that picks up the phone I inform them of my situation. I have remained collected throughout this horror, I am not one to scream at operators, as I know it is not them personally I am frustrated with. I will however let them know how I have been treated, that my patience are thin, and I appreciate not being put on hold or ‘transferred’ anymore without their careful assistance.

A Dell on Call agent by the name of Chris answered the phone. I told him of my hours on the phone with Dell and begged him not to shuffle me. I have to say he was a blessing. He spoke to me with genuine concern; his abilities in the customer service area should be commended. I was in tears up until this conversation. He went though and explained everything he asked me to do to the computer. He only put me on hold to consult another agent as to further tests to run on my pc. He was polite, courteous, respectful and very informed in regards to his job. His manner of speaking was clear and easy to understand. His phone etiquette was stellar. Unfortunately, he was a rare find in my endeavor with Dell as a whole.

Chris explained that I would have to be transferred, once again, to the original call center. He explained that the problem was not something he could find, let alone fix. He could not see a reason for the issues I was experiencing. I would have to be transferred to someone that deals with hard drive troubles. He said the cursor flickering is most likely a manufacturing problem and would have to be tested by another department. He advised that the pc may need to be sent back. So, he transferred me. I waited on hold for fourty five minutes and decided I couldn’t take it anymore. I would have to call back another day.

I called again on the twenty third of January. I was not on hold long before a representative picked up. I gave him all the information again and he pulled up the file. I explained what was going on and that I would really like to just return the computer. He began to recite the return/exchange policy in a very annoyed tone, and that I would be required to pay shipping/re-stocking etc…I interrupted him to explain that I’ve only had the pc for a few days. He very rudely snapped back that it did not matter, this was their policy and if I would just listen he could move on. If it was a software problem I would have to contact someone else, like Microsoft. I told him about my experience on the twentieth and apologized if I sounded frustrated, but honestly I just wanted the computer out of my house, at this point. He bluntly explained the cost I would incur. Again, I am shocked at how your customers are treated.

He said he needed to run a few tests and look over my file to determine the next step. After doing so he advised that the pc could be returned to Dell and that they would take full responsibility, due to a remark made by a previous representative. Finally, I’m getting somewhere. He asked if I wanted to exchange it and I almost laughed. When he realized I was returning it for a full refund, any respect or courteous manner that he was trying to muster disappeared from his voice. His disdain was clear. I told him I wanted to buy from a local dealer. He made it sound like a huge hassle. He tried to convince me that it was better to exchange it, due to the amount of time it could take to get the credit back. He also made a point of telling me that the “local dealer is just going to order it from us anyway.” I was afraid to tell him I didn’t plan on ever owning another Dell product. Afraid he would recant and say that he had misread the file and that I would have to pay after all.

I am very unhappy with Dell and I’m not shy about spreading the word. Not only was your product defective and you policies designed to make it difficult for the customer who spends their hard earned dollar, but your customer service was horrific. As an American I demand the respect that I have been raised to give others. Companies that outsource should train their employees in a standard that the customers they will deal with are used to. I regret ever having to deal with your company and I am determined to save friends, family and the clients that patronize my place of business the pain. I have since purchased a Sony laptop that I am very happy with and have already influenced a number of people to do the same.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Fractions hurt

O-kay, so the last blog I attempted to post was cut off prematurely. I decided to write what was on my mind..mainly...School and how freaked I am at times. Then, sooner than expected, my favorite person walked in the door, A.K.A. my hubby (fondly referred to as Sneek) . I 'pinched it off' ..so to speak. Not a lot of quality time with Sneak lately.
This will be short to..It's late and I have a head full of "4/3x-1/2(x=1)=1" and "On a windy day..16mi..blah blah 48 min..blah..what was the speed of the blah...if the current was 15 fucking blah." I have an exam on Wed. This is SO not my best subject. I have been literally living this crap for the past week or so. Really, last night, I peed a fraction..true story.