It's a brand new year 13

So it’s New Years Eve, 11:54pm. I’m watching some really stupid movie, not even worth mentioning. I’ve been thinking about my dad and the times we spent driving in the mountains. I thought I’d post a few pictures.

I’ve got a plan to go visit. The 19th of January I’m heading out, I’ll be there for 10 to 12 days give or take. I’m so excited to get back. I'd seriously like to blow Kansas off the map, nothing personal; it would just be allot easier to get to Colorado without that pesky state in the way.
It’s really hard for me to be here, especially when he feels like crap. I feel vulnerable in a strange way, like any minute someone is going to pull a plug and everything is going to go spinning uncontrollably. I talk to him every other day or so and on the days when he’s beaten, hacking, and sick I feel at odds with everything, so open, exposed, like my personal space has been invaded. I walk around in a cloud, or rather under one. On those days it’s the end, nothing else, just the end, the decline, and that it.


On the other hand, when he’s feeling good, it’s like everything is pretty normal. I can go about my day for the most part carefree. On days like that it seems as if the sick dreadful days were just a flash in the bigger scheme of things. As if it were silly to even have worried.
Come to think about it, no matter what kind of day it is, yesterday feels so far away. Just a kind of memory that the new day over shadows. Anyway, he’s feeling fairly well lately. I can’t wait to see him and take another drive!