I was so tired when I closed my eyes last night, but sleep eluded me. I felt uneasy. My mind raced with thoughts of the days endeavored and tomorrow's tasks. Things I've put off, letters I need to write, people I need to call, my basement project left unfinished. I was getting frustrated. My fiancee would shift in his sound slumber and I would resent him and blame him for my unrest. Flipping, turning, huffing and stretching, I finally relaxed and found comfort. You know that floating moment right before sleep? You never remember it in the morning but while you lay there you know. You're still strangely aware of your surroundings but detached thoughts start to take over. Maybe it's the beginning of a dream or perhaps the days thoughts unraveling. Whatever this place is, its unique and this is where I was when I heard it. It wasn't something you would consider loud, but in relation to the stillness of my room it pierced the darkness. A hollow sound scratched something then it fell to the floor. It was a small sound but never the less menacing. I was suddenly ripped from whatever remote realm my mind had settled on. It was like being ripped through a dark channel only to find blackness when I opened my eyes. Wide awake and gripping the sheet, I wondered if it were part of the scope my mind was in or if it were really a sound. I lay very still, hands sweating now. The pounding of my heart interfering with my ability to listen. The quick sounds happen fast. I can't describe it any better than to say it was sneaky and seemed to stop when it knew I was waiting. Then it came again. My muscles tensed and my head came slightly off the pillow, afraid to move to much. I haven't felt like this since childhood. My fiance slept on, I thought about waking him. I couldn't put my finger on anything and I didn't want to over react. I decided to turn on my bedside lamp but, I hesitated. I remember the 'monster under the bed' feeling. For a moment I was paralyzed. I felt the anticipation of the creature down there biding it's time. It's waiting for an arm or leg to slip off the side; peering up, ready to act, sneering, quietly snarling. I felt it deep in my spine. I shivered and dived for the light, snatching my arm back with childlike fervor. My right hand comforted my left as if to say "You made it!". I sat up and noticed the night was still, no crickets, no sounds, nothing. The air seemed dead, warm. I reminded myself that I am a grown ass woman and I have to get up and ease my mind! I studied every nook of my room waiting to hear the sound again. Hoping to catch it. I look over the side of the bed, trying to look under, just a few dust bunnies. I'm sure I could take them if I have to. The ceiling corner, under the dresser, all clear. I don't know how long I sat there before mustering up the courage to put my feet on the floor, and yes I moved away as soon as they hit. Roaming though my house I start to feel safe, but still knotted up a little. I continue to hold my hands under my chin, my shoulders cinched up, if I could bring my legs up and still get around, trust that would be the case! I'm just being silly ,I told myself. I haven't heard anything more; the kitchen is clear as well as the dining room and living room. I begin to relax as I walk back to my bedroom. I'm proud that I took care of this myself. No need for my big strong man!! I don't need protecting! I am woman, I am independent, I shake my fist at weakness! My arms and shoulders drop and my chest fills with pride as I take one last look out through my bedroom door into the rest of my castle! I smile and hold my head up as I look down at my fiance sleeping. My heart skips a beat then explodes in my chest, I step back, one hand goes for its spot under my chin and the other grabs the door frame. I let a whimper escape. He is staring at me. Eyes wide and glazed over, glaring as if with purpose. It's as if he's looking INTO me, not at me at all. I felt another presence; it didn't seem like him at all. The room turned a shade of red and I couldn't break the gaze. Then it was over, just that quick. The room went back to normal, crickets chirped, I heard a car drive down the street and the AC clamored to life. My heart was still trying to get out. I didn't know what else to do but to jump into bed. As quickly as I could I shoved earplugs in my ears to block out the world. I lay in a fetal position holding my pillow. I wasn't' afraid of my fiance but of what looked at me through his eyes. I remained close the the edge of the bed...Careful not to extent off the side. No one knows the moment they fall asleep. I do know I went back to that place between sleep and wakefulness but, I don't remember it today. I do feel uneasy, like something is happening and right around the corner is an answer to a question I haven't asked yet.
